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I told him I wouldn't do that but he suggested it again the next time we talked."I felt that I had made it clear that I would not see him but he persisted. I was trying to deal with a husband that seemed to have lost his grip on reality and I needed Bill's advice to help me cope but I knew that meeting him for a drink would be inappropriate. That's when I started to crack under the pressure. I was trying to get you to seek help while at the same time deal with Bill pressuring me to go out for a drink with him. I have to admit that at the time Bill's phone calls were something I had begun to look forward to and going home at night to deal with your paranoia was something I had come to dread."Then one night you came home happy. Your change in mood made me think that maybe you had broken out of whatever funk you had been in and that everything was going to be better. When I asked you why you were in such a good mood you told me about the deal you were working on with Clinton Products. I. And I know you still haven’t forgiven me. So I’m making amends. I know you don’t wanna be my friend—’ She opened her mouth to say something but he raised a hand to stop her. ‘Let me finish. I know you don’t wanna be my friend so I just want to let you know I’m sorry. I don’t want you to have anything extra filling up your plate right now. You deserve better.’ Finally she spoke. ‘I’m sorry too,’ she got the words out with a sharp nod. ‘For being a total bitch to you.’ ”Don’t say that. You weren’t being a bitch. You were just making sure you didn’t get hurt again’ ‘Same difference,’ She laughed out. ‘I wasn’t giving you a chance and I know I should have. And I really didn’t mean that comment about us not being friends.’ The last words had to be grinded out. She winced a little when she met his eyes again. Was he gonna laugh at her and say ‘I knew you wanted me!’ ‘So we can be –’ ‘No,’ She cut him off before he could finish. She couldn’t bear to hear him ask. Jon rubbed his palms on.
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